Death Rituals

“Death ceremonies are rites of passage for both the deceased and for the living” (Irwin, 2015, p. 121). Ritualistic practices around death involve activities and behaviour that are performed or engaged in to mark the significance of the loss to the bereaved and the community. Death rituals commence the moment a person is declared dead, although definitions of death vary historically and cross-culturally (Palgi & Abramovitch, 1984). Depending upon cultural practices, many of which are tied to religious beliefs, such rituals can involve: preparing of the body (e.g., it may be washed by family or community members or professional funeral staff; it may be dressed, kept naked, or wrapped in a burial shroud; it may be embalmed; etc.); watching over the body (e.g., pre-burial vigils); a funeral and body disposal (e.g., burial, cremation, etc.); prayer; a mourning period; ritual providing of food (i.e., feasting); and celebratory events (Cohen, 2002). Death rituals provide bereaved individuals and the community with time to process their loss and acclimate to the dramatic changes associated with that loss, including alterations in status or identity, such as moving from the status of married to widowed after the death of a spouse.

Grief & Mourning Rituals

Grief and mourning rituals typically begin shortly after death. As detailed in the next chapter section, depending on culture and religion, grief rituals can take a variety of forms before, during, and after a funeral ritual and body disposal.

According to Irwin (2015), mourning and grief rituals serve several important purposes. They provide the bereaved an opportunity to acknowledge and share their experiences of loss, as well as their memories of the relationships they had with the deceased (Irwin, 2015). They facilitate the offering of support and comfort to the bereaved, and they serve as a means through which to express loss (Irwin, 2015). As part of death rituals, we often see the open unrestrained expression of grief through the release of emotion (Wojcik & Dobler, November 1, 2017).

Throughout history and cross-culturally there are numerous examples of ritualized public outpourings of emotion, many of which take oral and physical forms, as part of the process of meaning-making and coping with death (Gamliel, 2014a & 2014b; Mitima-Verloop et al., 2021). For example, loud vocal expressions of grief such as “death wailing”, “keening”, “lamenting”, and “chanting” can begin shortly after death and last until after the burial. Or they can occur at rituals that take place prior to funerals and body disposal and during the gatherings that often occur after these events. Such public rituals of sorrow are a “powerful way to give voice to the impact of the…loss on the wider community” (Wojcik & Dobler, 2017, para. 12) and can have a cathartic, grief releasing effect for participants and observers (McLaughlin, March 18, 2018; Sautter, 2017). An example of a traditional ritual emotional outpouring that is still practiced today, is the Haka chant dance of the Māori of New Zealand. The Haka is used for a variety of purposes, but it is “an integral part of the Māori mourning process…. Show[ing] love and compassion…and uplift[ing] the spirts of bereaved families (Māori Funeral Rituals, n.d.).

Wailing, keening, lamenting performances, as traditional parts of expressing grief, are evident in various cultures historically and, to a lesser extent, today. A few examples include the keen, or lament for the dead that is at the core of traditional Irish wakes, and the ancient wailing practice of Yemenite-Jewish women (Mclaughlin, March 18, 2018; McLaughlin, 2019). These rituals are/were typically carried out by women, who are/were paid for their mourning services (Gamliel, 2014b; McGarry, August 19, 2021; Mendoza, February 15, 2018). Although there is much historical and cultural variation in the roles and styles of professional mourners, these individuals played an integral role in both pre-funeral events and funeral services (Natan-Yulzary, 2021).

Today, professional mourners are still used in various parts of the world. You can rent a mourner in Essex UK, China, and even in the United States at the Golden Gate Funeral Home in Texas (Mendoza, February 15, 2018). Professional mourners are hired to provide the oral expression of emotion at a pre-funeral event and/or at a funeral (May, n.d.) and/or increase the number of people in attendance at a funeral (Mendoza, February 15, 2018). In cultures where public expression of emotions by the bereaved are viewed as inappropriate, such as in Taiwan, professional mourners may be hired to express emotions for the family (Dicken, 2021). Paid mourning services are, however, not always sombre and emotional, they can also provide entertainment through music, dance, etc., for funeral attendees as they celebrate the life of the deceased (Keyl, 1992).

Psychological Theories Related to Death Rituals, Grief, and Mourning

Death rituals, as well as grief and mourning practices, are not only social and cultural phenomena but also deeply intertwined with psychological processes. These rituals serve multiple psychological functions, providing a framework through which individuals and communities process loss, cope with grief, and find meaning after death. Several psychological theories and constructs help to explain the underlying mechanisms and benefits of these rituals.

1. Continuing Bonds Theory

The Continuing Bonds Theory suggests that the bereaved often maintain an ongoing relationship with the deceased, even after their death (Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, 1996). This theory emphasizes that death does not necessarily sever ties between the living and the dead; rather, the bereaved may continue to feel connected through memories, symbolic acts, and rituals. Death rituals, such as funerals and memorials, can facilitate the continuation of this bond by providing structured opportunities to remember and honor the deceased.

In many cultures, death rituals incorporate practices that keep the memory of the deceased alive, such as the creation of altars, regular prayers, or commemorative events like Día de los Muertos in Mexico (Bowlby, 1980). By engaging in these rituals, individuals may find comfort in maintaining a connection with their loved ones, which can support the grieving process and help reduce feelings of isolation (Field, Gao, & Paderna, 2005).

2. Meaning-Making and Post-Traumatic Growth

The Meaning-Making Model of grief suggests that individuals cope with loss by attempting to make sense of the death and integrate it into their broader life narrative (Neimeyer, 2000). Rituals surrounding death provide an opportunity for individuals to engage in meaning-making, as they reflect on the life of the deceased, their relationship to them, and the impact of their passing. According to this model, rituals can act as a psychological tool for constructing meaning out of the loss, which is essential for adaptive grieving.

Furthermore, the concept of post-traumatic growth—the positive psychological change experienced as a result of struggling with highly challenging life circumstances, such as death—has been linked to the mourning process (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996). Rituals of mourning and grief, such as memorial services or symbolic acts of remembrance, can contribute to post-traumatic growth by helping individuals create new perspectives on life and fostering personal resilience in the aftermath of a loss (Currier, Mallot, Martinez, Sandy, & Neimeyer, 2013).

3. Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement

The Dual Process Model (DPM) of coping with bereavement, developed by Stroebe and Schut (1999), posits that individuals oscillate between two types of stressors in grief: loss-oriented and restoration-oriented. Loss-oriented stressors are those directly related to the loss, such as yearning and reminiscing, while restoration-oriented stressors are focused on adjusting to life without the deceased.

Death rituals, such as funerals, provide an outlet for individuals to engage with loss-oriented coping by acknowledging the finality of death and expressing emotions related to the loss (Stroebe, Schut, & Boerner, 2017). Meanwhile, the communal aspects of rituals—such as family gatherings and social support—allow individuals to begin the process of restoration by reconnecting with others and adjusting to a new reality. The model highlights the importance of balancing these two forms of coping to navigate the grieving process successfully.

4. Attachment Theory

Attachment Theory offers a framework for understanding how individuals respond to the loss of a close relationship, particularly when the attachment figure (such as a parent, partner, or child) dies. According to Bowlby (1980), the death of an attachment figure can trigger an intense emotional response as the bereaved attempt to process the loss of a person they depended on for emotional security.

Grief rituals, like funerals or wakes, serve as socially sanctioned ways of addressing this separation, helping the bereaved acknowledge and come to terms with the loss. In the absence of such rituals, individuals may struggle with unresolved grief or experience difficulties in adjusting to the loss (Worden, 2009). Moreover, attachment styles can influence how individuals engage with these rituals. Securely attached individuals may find comfort in shared mourning practices, while those with insecure attachment styles may experience more prolonged or complicated grief (Stroebe et al., 2005).

5. Disenfranchised Grief

Kenneth Doka (1989) introduced the concept of disenfranchised grief, which refers to grief that is not socially acknowledged or validated. This can occur when the relationship with the deceased is not recognized (e.g., a co-worker or ex-partner), when the loss itself is not seen as significant (e.g., the death of a pet), or when societal norms limit public expressions of grief (e.g., stigmatized deaths such as those from suicide or AIDS).

Death rituals are crucial in mitigating disenfranchised grief by providing formal recognition of the loss and allowing the bereaved to express their sorrow. Without these rituals, individuals may feel isolated in their grief, lacking the social support necessary for coping. Rituals help to legitimize the experience of loss and provide a communal space for grief, even in cases of disenfranchised grief (Doka, 2002).

References

Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Vol. 3. Loss, sadness, and depression. Basic Books.

Currier, J. M., Mallot, J., Martinez, T. E., Sandy, C., & Neimeyer, R. A. (2013). Bereavement, religion, and posttraumatic growth: A matched control group investigation. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 5(2), 69-77. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0027708

Doka, K. J. (1989). Disenfranchised grief: Recognizing hidden sorrow. Lexington Books.

Doka, K. J. (2002). Disenfranchised grief: New directions, challenges, and strategies for practice. Research Press.

Field, N. P., Gao, B., & Paderna, L. (2005). Continuing bonds in bereavement: An attachment theory-based perspective. Death Studies, 29(4), 277-299. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481180590923689

Klass, D., Silverman, P. R., & Nickman, S. L. (1996). Continuing bonds: New understandings of grief. Taylor & Francis.

Neimeyer, R. A. (2000). Searching for the meaning of meaning: Grief therapy and the process of reconstruction. Death Studies, 24(6), 541-558. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481180050121480

Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224. https://doi.org/10.1080/074811899201046

Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Boerner, K. (2017). Cautioning health-care professionals: Bereaved persons are misguided through the stages of grief. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying, 74(4), 455-473. https://doi.org/10.1177/0030222817691870

Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (1996). The posttraumatic growth inventory: Measuring the positive legacy of trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9(3), 455-471. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.2490090305

Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). Springer.